Over the past couple months I've done some soul searching. Not the angst-ridden search that so many of us went on in our youth but a search nontheless. You see, I'm not a paid pastor anymore. I've been a paid pastor for the better part of the last thirteen years. It's hard to shift gears and do something different. That's the presenting issue and the response (the soul search) is this: am I still useful in God's Kingdom? Am I still needed in God's church? What spot will my family fit in? What church will we attend and be committed to--the kind of commitment I called for so many times! I was a leader before because of my position, can I be a leader now because of different reasons? If so, what are those reasons?
These are not angst-ridden questions but honest, deep-down, potentionally life-changing questions--in a good way. The neat thing is that Es and I know God has led us to this spot. It's an important place for us to be in. If there is an opportunity for me to again to be on staff, I want to make sure I say "Yes" for the right reasons.
I think the biggest thing I'm learning is to wait on God. Waiting isn't a passive state, I'm finding, but an active one. I actively wait as I exercise patience and practice wisdom (i.e. saying "no" to the wrong things and "yes" to the right things). I actively wait as I put myself before God each day seeking His path and listening for His voice. I actively wait as I minister to the guys I work with--Christian and non-Christian. I actively wait as I accept preaching offers and other offers from the churches down here. All of this active waiting is done in an air of trust: we're trusting that God will lead us. Es and both know the leading of the Lord. We've had to follow it in the past and we know God will lead us again.
How about you? Are you having to wait on the Lord? Don't see it as a time of indifference, frustration or wasted time. Actively wait on the Lord and trust that He will lead you.